Published February 26, 2007
On the corner of applecharm and
golden butters, where breads mix
in with cinnamon and skirts flutter
in the absence of crows, culture
breeds beneath bare feet on cobblestones.
Lonely men, tried and untrue, strum
their shadows out on guitars molded
from earthly crimes and past romances.
Little ladies, newly at loss of flower,
dance the world into a reverie,
where gold air from streetlights topples
from between their legs, a thousand coins --
in the swooning of the world and its wanderers,
nobody notices darkling hands of children
scraping for the single cents.
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Oooh, yeah, that's a good idea! Or maybe names of places or made-up street names that sound Castilian. I love it when poems sound like they've just fallen out of a pretty postcard.
I would add some spanish phrases for effect, personally. I'm kinda preoccupied and tired at the moment, so I'll come back later with a more developed, full critique.
Mmm, nice.
What does the absence of crows have to do with anything? I suppose that crows symbolize darkness and death, but it seemed really out of place.That's probably my favorite part. It's simple, but deep and brimming with beautiful, subtle emotions. But..."earthly crimes"...as opposed to what? Heavenly crimes? Galactic crimes? I'm not sure what the distinction is.
Its, as a possessive. Had to be nitpicky on that one.
Why not "hands of darkling children"?
Colleen