Oooh, yeah, that's a good idea! Or maybe names of places or made-up street names that sound Castilian. I love it when poems sound like they've just fallen out of a pretty postcard.
On the corner of applecharm and
golden butters, where breads mix
in with cinnamon and skirts flutter
in the absence of crows, culture
breeds beneath bare feet on cobblestones.
Lonely men, tried and untrue, strum
their shadows out on guitars molded
from earthly crimes and past romances.
Little ladies, newly at loss of flower,
dance the world into a reverie,
where gold air from streetlights topples
from between their legs, a thousand coins --
in the swooning of the world and its wanderers,
nobody notices darkling hands of children
scraping for the single cents.
Oooh, yeah, that's a good idea! Or maybe names of places or made-up street names that sound Castilian. I love it when poems sound like they've just fallen out of a pretty postcard.
I would add some spanish phrases for effect, personally. I'm kinda preoccupied and tired at the moment, so I'll come back later with a more developed, full critique.
Mmm, nice.
What does the absence of crows have to do with anything? I suppose that crows symbolize darkness and death, but it seemed really out of place.in with cinnamon and skirts flutter
in the absence of crows,
Lonely men, tried and untrue, strum
their shadows out on guitars molded
from earthly crimes and past romances.
in the swooning of the world and it's wanderers
nobody notices darkling hands of children
120,618 Literary Works • 651,106 Reviews
Points: 5890
Reviews: 758
Donate